Living in a Lie
by TammyDevil666
Summary: Takes place at the end of The Girl in Question. What if Buffy showed up at the apartment before Angel and Spike left? Spuffy!


I got this idea after watching the end of "The Girl in Question" again this morning. I just kept thinking about what could have happened if Buffy showed up before they left. I really wish it would have happened this way. I know a lot of different versions have been done of this episode and mine is probably similar, but I just really wanted to write something else. I seem to be dealing with writer's block on the three stories that I'm working on now. Anyway, I hope you guys would like it!

* * *

They both waited in the apartment for a little while longer after Andrew left, neither knowing what to say. 

"Maybe the boy was right. We should try to move on." Spike stated after a moment of silence.

Angel agreed. "Yeah, I do have Nina now. We should just let Buffy get on with her life. No matter how much we hate her being with him."

Spike nodded as they headed to the front door, but it suddenly opened and they were met by a pretty brunette.

Her eyes bulged when she saw them. "Oh, I guess you're still here." She closed the door and walked into the apartment.

Both vampires were stunned at the sight of Buffy, looking nothing like they thought she would.

Spike decided to be the first one to speak up. "Wait, you knew we were here?"

Buffy rolled her eyes. "I did date both of you. Did you think I wouldn't be able to feel you if you were both close by?" She looked at Spike. "I've actually known that you were back for months now. Did you really think Andrew could keep a secret?"

Spike didn't know what to think. "So, you were waiting until we left to show up here? You didn't want to see us?" he wondered, feeling a little hurt.

Buffy just turned away from him and threw her purse on the couch. "Really didn't," she replied.

Angel decided to change the subject. "What about the Immortal? We thought you were out with him. I mean, we saw you dancing at that club."

Buffy shook her head. "I can't believe you two thought that was me. First of all, I'm obviously not blonde anymore," she said and pointed to her hair, which was now dark brown. "And second, I so don't dance like that. Please, that was his new flavor of the week. The jerk has been coming on to me for a while now, but I would never give him the time of day. I guess this is how he handles rejection. I knew you guys were in town and I had Andrew make you believe that I was with him. I was hoping that would have been enough to get you to leave, but you two are just as stubborn as ever."

Spike moved over to her. "I can understand you not wanting to see Peaches, but what about me? Aren't you happy that I'm back at all?"

Buffy gave a humorless laugh and took a step away from him. She couldn't handle being so close to him again. "Am I happy that you're back? You don't even know the half of it. Do you have any idea what I went through? You were gone and I never thought I would see you again. I cut myself off from everyone. I didn't want to talk, eat, sleep, or anything really. I was devastated and spent most of my time crying over you. It got so bad that I ended up having panic attacks whenever your name was mentioned. I had to see a doctor and take it easy for a while. I couldn't even focus on slaying. I almost let some random vampire kill me because I was too busy thinking about you. That's when Giles decided that I should take a break from it. It took me months to get better and when I finally think that I am, I find out about your return from Andrew. Do you have any idea how much that hurt? Knowing that you were back this whole time and never cared to tell me? That you would have rather been around Angel? I wanted to go see you after I found out, but I decided against it. I was so convinced that you didn't love me anymore and I couldn't handle anymore heartache. So, does that answer your question?"

They were both stunned into silence at her explanation.

Buffy didn't even care to wait for a response. She just walked over to her bedroom, not giving them another glance. "You can find your own way out," she said and closed the door behind her, finally letting the tears fall.

* * *

"I'm a bloody wanker. I thought I was staying away for her own good. I had this idea that she was happy and better off without me. I never thought that my death would have affected her so much." 

Angel shook his head. "You should know by now that Buffy takes things hard. I mean, she ran away when she sent me to Hell. And I was supposed to be the great love of her life," he mumbled.

Spike ignored him, his thoughts remained on Buffy. "I have to make this right somehow. I can't believe she actually doubted my love for her. Doesn't she realize that could never happen? Right, I guess I didn't give her any reason to think that. Bloody hell, I should have showed up the second I was corporeal again."

With their vampire hearing, they were able to pick up the sounds of her sobs in the other room.

"I can't just stand here while she's hurting. I'm going in there."

Angel stopped Spike by grabbing his arm.

He turned a glare on his grandsire. "You are not going to stop me, Peaches. You're not going to give me another speech about how me staying away is right for her."

"I'm not going to stop you. I just think I should head back to LA. You need to stay here for a while, Spike. Infact, I wouldn't be surprised if you didn't come back at all. I think she needs you more right now."

Spike had a look of surprise on his face, but only nodded.

Angel glanced over to Buffy's room one more time, then turned and exited the apartment.

Spike watched him go and then headed in the direction of Buffy's room. He could hear that her sobs died down a bit, but she was still sniffling. If his heart was beating, it would have broken at the sounds she was making. He turned the knob to find that the door was unlocked. He opened it to reveal Buffy lying on her bed, with her head in her hands.

Buffy realized that she wasn't alone and looked up at him. She immediately wiped her eyes, even though she already knew that he heard her crying. "I thought you left," she said softly.

Spike shook his head and moved over to the bed, sitting down carefully on the edge. "I couldn't leave things like that. I'm so sorry, Buffy. I never knew how hard everything was for you. I was a bloody ponce and thought I was doing the right thing. I didn't realize that I was practically doing the same thing that Angel did years ago. I should have just come to you the first chance I got. I wanted to so bloody much. You were still all I thought about. I could never stop loving you, Buffy. I'll love you until the day I'm dust, possibly even beyond that," he finished with a small smile.

Buffy smiled a little in return, but it quickly faded. "You didn't believe me. I told you that I loved you and you didn't believe me. I spent these last few months thinking that you died without knowing how I really felt. I love you, Spike. I loved you before that. I just couldn't manage to say the words, but I felt it every second. I never stopped loving you," she whispered.

He felt the tears start to form in his eyes at her declaration. He then couldn't take anymore and wrapped his arms around her, placing a chaste kiss on her lips. It has really been too long.

Buffy held him tighter and gave in to the kiss.

He pulled away to trail his lips down her neck.

She let out a moan.

"I love you, baby. I'll never let you go," he whispered in her ear.

"I won't either," she replied.

They both lay back on the bed and continued to give each other soft kisses.

Spike would never be able to get enough. He couldn't believe that he thought he could live without her. "Never going to leave you again."

Buffy felt satisfied with that and soon drifted off to a peaceful sleep, the first in what felt like forever.

Spike watched over her for a little while longer, until he also joined her in slumber. He would have to call Angel tomorrow and tell him that he wasn't planning on returning to Los Angeles.

**The End**

I really didn't know how else to end this. I figured that was a good enough place to stop. I have no plans for a sequel or anything. Well, don't forget to review me. I would love to know what you guys thought of it. Thanks ever so!


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